


Two conversations about the same thing

by AuthorMontresor



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Angst, As a beginning of a redemption arc for Catra, Developing Relationship, Doodles, Doubles as character study, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Scorpia is such a good friend, Secret cat puns, Sweet, Trying to give you all tootache with how bittersweet this gets in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 04:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16654480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorMontresor/pseuds/AuthorMontresor
Summary: Adora cannot sleep. Catra will not sleep. This is not the only thing they have in common, nor the single that troubles them.





	Two conversations about the same thing

 

Sleep eluded Adora. It skipped and jumped at the edge of her awareness, always just out of reach. The moment she thought she found a balance, she would hear a noise, or feel too hot, or too cold, or too cranky.

Or the scars on her back would hurt.

Sleep eluded Adora, and Adora, never one to back down from a challenge, groaned as she threw her legs over the bed. Fine. So be it. If this was going to be one of _those_ nights, she might as well get something useful out of it.

She wore a pair of light pants and her old jacket, and left her room, walking in the empty, silent, dark palace.

She never noticed she was being followed.

 

The night is never peaceful in the Fright Zone. There's not even such a thing as 'night'. The engine of progress that is the Horde knows no rest, nor should its cogs. The furnace light that keeps the darkness at bay is barely challenged by the light of the sun. And for many of its denizens, concepts such as weariness, sleep, time and death are pitiful excuses, holding no water before the will of Hordak. No reason to stop working.

To Catra's mind, though, her bad mood was reason enough.

She jumped and skipped over the tin roof, kept awake by an itch she could not locate in her body.

Catra looked down at her right hand, at the black talons that seemed to glisten in the firelight of the Fright Zone.

She frowned.

It had felt _right_ at the time.

It had felt _good_.

Why could this not be a problem for future Catra?

Was there even a future Catra?

She groaned as she pulled her hair. She had never been good at this! Complicated stuff like this was better left to... to...

Well, not to her, for sure!

And now, she was alone.

No, wait.

Her sharp senses caught something.

She was not alone.

 

Adora liked her body. Not in the way most people liked their bodies. They might take a look at themselves in a mirror and think _damn I look good_ and that would be the end of it.

Adora took care of her body.

That meant taking care of her diet.

Taking care of her exercise.

Taking care of her emotional well-being.

Two out of three, not so bad.

Adora slowed down, coming on to a rest after her tenth lap around the balcony.

She was stronger than her time in her Horde. Not sure due to simple training, or due to She-Ra trickling down into her. Her breath was barely broken.

Slowly, her hand moved to touch her back.

"Adora!" Someone whispered in the night.

Old reflexes pushed her to freeze and salute, but Adora caught herself. She was in Bright Moon. Her past was her past.

"Bow," she asked, turning in the direction of the voice. Bow stepped out of the shadows. He had his weapon at the ready, looking around, as if an army was hidden in the stones of the balcony.

"Why are you up? Planning a sortie? I am ready, if that's the case."

Adora chuckled.

"No, Bow. No sortie tonight. In fact, I... I just could not sleep."

"Oh." Bow's arms fell. For a moment, he looked disappointed, but he quickly recovered. "Wait? You cannot sleep? Why?"

Without asking for her prompt, he walked up to her, putting his bow onto his back, and looked deep into her eyes.

"You look troubled," he commented.

"No. Yes. Well, it's complicated."

"Tell me."

 

Out of the shadows, into the shadows. To Catra, hiding was second nature. In time, she might have even become a little too good at it. But that was a problem for past Catra.

What _present_ Catra did not like was being spied. She waited, immobile, holding her breath, as she heard the intruder coming closer. Heavy. Large. Not too nimble. Not at her level anyway.

A spy? A Princess?

Dare she not hope it, could it be?

Could it be Ado-

"Here, kitty kitty kitty!"

Oh.

Go figure.

Her disappointment must have been audible, because Scorpia turned to look at her hiding spot, as if Catra has sent out a distress beacon.

Bad choice of words, in retrospect.

"Is it too much to be left alone?" Catra said, slinking out of the shadows, saving if not her solitude at least her pride.

"Oh, hey Chief. Can I call you Chief? What with the promotion and everything. Chief."

A smile appeared on Catra's lips. She was not particularly fond of Scorpia, nor that purple-haired Princess, but the pincer lady did seem to have a penchant for petting her the right way.

"Chief will have to do," Catra commented, sitting down atop a piece of machinery, her arms tied behind her neck, one leg dangling free.

Scorpia nodded, smiled.

Smiled, nodded.

And did not move.

"Something's the matter, _Force Captain_?" It was the first time Catra used her old moniker like an insult, and it felt good. Like an old sweet candy turned frizzy and sour.

 "Oh," Scorpia shrugged, "I just wanted to know how you were doing, Chief. And to show you my newest doodles," she explained, producing her sketchbook.

Catra scoffed.

"I am _fine_. Now go back to bed, Force Captain." Catra stood up, crouched, about to jump.

"I have seen you troubled, Chief."

Catra froze. Still crouching, she looked down at Scorpia.

"Did you speak of these... troubles to anyone?"

If Hordak knew...

"Nah," Scorpia answered, shaking her head. "It's just I am a little worried, that's all. The battle was a hard hit. Just wondering if you are fine."

Catra flexed her fingers.

For a moment, she felt like there was something beneath her talons.

Clothes, and skin.

And deeper...

"Fine."

But she did not jump.

"I am fine." Catra repeated. To whom, she was not sure.

She let herself slump against the cold, hard metal of the exhaust.

"Never been better."

 

Adora took another bite of the sandwich. Let it to Bow to be prepared for every situation, even sandwich cravings in the middle of the night. He looked at her, his own sandwich only half-eaten.

He would not push her, and she did not want to be pushed.

"The sandwich is good," she said, as a way to prepare herself. Adora changed position. Her back, for some reason, itched. "Thank you."

"Hm-hm," Bow replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay." Adora took one long breath. "Okay. So. Uhm. You are not leaving before I tell you everything, are you?"

"Hm-hm."

"Oh boy. This is going to be a disaster. Why is everything going to be a _disaster_?"

"You tell me."

"Urgh." Adora shook her head. "Between you and Glimmer pestering me, I am never going to get another moment to mope and hate on myself in peace, am I?" She looked at Bow, and there was a hint on a grin upon her face, now. "Am I?"

"Never again," Bow confirmed, setting his right hand upon her shoulder. "But if you don't want to talk, really, it's nothing, we can do this later."

"No." Adora shook her head, and she set her will. "No, it's okay. We're doing this now. Ah, I should have brought the sword, maybe. Or maybe not. This is all so confusing!"

"Deep breaths. Take your time."

"Yes. So. Uhm... I don't really know where to begin, really."

"It is usually the best to start from the beginning," Bow replied with a smirk.

Adora's features clouded.

The beginning...

"Have you ever made a promise, Bow? A promise you had to break?"

 

Catra's heart beat following its own rhythm, one far distanced from the dull humming of the exhaust port.

At some time, Scorpia must have started doodling again, because the scratch of her pencil on the paper could be heard from up above.

And there was nothing else, really.

And Catra was atop of the world.

Lord Hordak himself had recognized her.

The sensation of that hard, cold gem atop Shadow Weaver's forehead shatter under her talons would be cherished forever as one of her fondest memories.

And she had almost beaten them all!

All on her own!

Her plan, her resources, her objective!

She had showed them all!

She was the best!

And Adora would have to recognize that.

She had even bested her in combat!

Unbidden, a chocking laughter bubbled out of her lips.

Catra scoffed.

She-Ra!

 _She-Ra_!

A joke! That sword. A toy!

She had bested the greatest warrior of the Rebellion with these hands! If not in a battle of strength, in one of wits.

With these hands.

She had...

With these hands, she had...

"It's her fault," Catra whispered to the wind.

"Whose fault, Chief?" Came Scorpia's inquiry from below.

At any other moment, Catra would have rewarded her interest with a scratch or two.

That night...

"Is there even need to ask? Adora's fault of course! _She-Ra_!"

Scorpia stopped doodling.

"I get it, Chief."

Catra was legitimately baffled. She looked down. Scorpia was tapping with her pencil on the sketchbook. A small doodle of her smiling face next to Catra's own.

"I get it."

"Well, _you_ don't," Catra hissed. How could she? Scorpia, of all people! Scorpia! She knew _nothing_ about her, _nothing_ about Adora! And why would she? Catra had risen among the ranks at unprecedented speed. This was _her_ triumph. "Well, you _don't_ ," Catra repeated. "You don't! You don't get it!" A pause.

"She had made a promise," Catra whispered.

 

As she explained, Bow's expression never changed.

He kept on looking at her, frowning, blinking at times. He pursed his lips and waited for her to finish.

Adora expected one of his usual outbursts. A pep talk about how everything was going to be fine now.

But Bow never said anything. So she did.

"I should have really brought the sword," Adora said in the end. "I should. It did made me feel safer. Now I am not sure."

"I had no idea," Bow said after a few more moments of silence. He hugged her, and Adora let herself unwind in that hug. "I had no idea. Really. No idea. I..."

"It's in the past," Adora said. "It's in the past, just like Light Hope said. I had to... let go in the end. She's... in the past as well. I had to accept it. It's in the past." Adora breathed in, breathed out. "It's in the past. Really. In the past."

Bow said nothing for a while.

"Maybe that's not the right way to put it," he mused.

Adora felt a icicle pass through her heart. What? Just when she had to accept...

"Maybe the old you is in the past, but..."

"I am going to stop you right there, Bow," Adora said, withdrawing from his hug and holding her hands up. "She's made a choice, and I cannot do anything to stop her. She's chosen her path. She has... she's gone! She has made her choice! She's the enemy!"

Bow raised an eyebrow.

"Where did you learn to put people in camps? In the Horde?"

 

Catra was now beyond all caring. She lashed out at the air, thinking little of what she might hit. A tube, the floor, a wall, an antenna. It mattered little. She owned all this!

As for Scorpia, she was remarkably good at dodging.

"She left me alone! I had to it! I had to! You don't understand!"

"I don't, uh," Scorpia dodged as a fragment of metal ricocheted her way, "... I don't pretend to, Chief. I meant I..."

"Shut up! I don't care! She pushed me to do it! It's her fault! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!"

Catra, panting, stopped, her arms still up in the air.

"I hate her."

She fell on her knees.

"I hate her."

The floor was hard, and cold.

"Why is she not here? She was supposed to be here..."

Bit by bit, like a red, gentle glacier with pincers, Scorpia crouched in front of Catra, and she held her between her arms.

"I know she was, Chief. I know she was."

 

Adora blinked. He could not be serious.

"Bow, listen to yourself! Catra has led the siege; she has damaged the entire planet! I had to let go, it was the only choice I had! Light Hope was right!"

Bow shook his head.

"Listen, just because an old ghost tells you to do something..."

"Bow, I _tried_! I _asked_ , I _begged_! She would not listen! She let me fall to my death!"

Her back itched, in long parallel lines of sorrow.

"Adora, I..." Bow sighed. "I am not even sure why I am insisting on this... you are right. Catra has made a choice. And every hour she spends in service of Hordak she gets more and more lost. But I don't believe she'll be... I don't know, call it a hunch, but... I have seen how she looks at you."

Adora frowned.

She opened her mouth for a rebuttal, and found her throat empty.

An empty tunnel that gave just onto the hungry cavern of her chest.

 _How she looks at you_.

And how did she look at Catra? All that time?

"Adora, I... I have known Glimmer for a long time. She acts... not that mature at times. She's so attached to Angella, but I'll be horded if they can tell that to each other with a straight face! Up until... well, the other day, really, I had rarely seen them even hug!"

Adora still did not understand. Catra was not her mother. She was not...

"You might have known Catra for a long time, and Catra you, and that's gone, and you are right. But... I don't want you to stop _trying_ , Adora!"

Bow took her hands in his.

"What... what are you saying?"

 

"I did not want to hurt her. But it felt so good to lash out. It felt so right. For a moment, when I... when I ripped through her clothes and her skin and... and... that did feel good."  A drunken smile. "That felt _so_ good."

Catra felt bile rising up. She turned her head, spitting a wad of saliva to the side. Scorpia did not let go.

"I am so messed up," she said, letting her head fall against Scorpia's chest.

"Maybe, maybe not, Chief."

Catra's eyes moved towards Scorpia's face.

"What do you mean?"

"You are so hard on yourself. You are a pretty amazing Chief, and a pretty amazing friend."

"I am nobody's friend!"

"Sure thing, Chief."

"Make sure you remember it, Force Captain. I am nobody's friend."

"Duly noted, Chief. Now, as I was saying... yep. Pretty amazing, all around. When I left for the Horde, I felt like I had found a home once again. Then I met you, and Entrapta, and I thought, hey, maybe this is not going to be just a fistfight. I'd hate if it was just a fistfight. I do not want you to think it's going to be just a fistfight, Chief."

Catra blinked. Scorpia had a... _particular_ way of reasoning.

"What?"

"Even if you have to punch Adora for what she did, it's fine, Chief. Punch her. She'll come around. The Horde is like a big family. She'll come around. Keep trying. Keep being awesome, Chief."

 

"Bow, she's... Catra is... she did... she..."

"She's your _best friend_!" Bow slapped his forehead. "Before you told me I did not even think you could be friends like that for... what? A decade? Maybe more! I thought only puppies and maybe octopi could be friends like that!"

 _Octopi_? What did he...

"I had no idea! This... thing you have with Catra is something I have never seen! Are you just going to throw it away because she's still in the Horde?" Something sparkled in Bow's eyes. "The Adora, the She-Ra I know would never do that."

Adora blinked.

She thought about what she had come to know.

About the last She-Ra, about Mara.

How she had repressed herself, until she snapped like a twig in a hurricane.

But Bow was wrong about something.

Adora pursed her lips.

"It's not like that."

The sword, Light Hope, and the cycle of She-Ra would never want her to try anything like this.

"She-Ra would let go of Catra."

Bow's face hardened.

"But I think Adora won't."

 

Hugs were nice and all, but there was a time and place for everything.

"It's getting late, Force Captain." Catra tapped on Scorpia's back.

How much time had it been? Ten minutes? Twelve?

Surely nothing that would hurt her pride.

It was just a hug. It happens to the best among us.

"It is getting late, Chief. I hope you will get some sleep now."

Catra scoffed.

As if that had made any difference.

"Can I show you my doodles next time?" Asked Scorpia as she did in the end let go. She stood up, pointed at her sketchbook. "I like to draw in your company, Chief. It's relaxing."

"If they are any good-" Catra conceded, jumping up and away. "Just get some sleep."

A pause.

Catra hesitated.

One of the moons rose above the smoke and fumes, and it shone clear even in the industrial haze.

"I hope she's not hurt," Catra whispered.

"Ask her next time," Scorpia replied from below.

"That was _not a question_ , Force Captain! Leave my sight, or you will find yourself with a new cakehole in the middle of your chest!" Catra raised a hand, threatening.

"Whoops! Better go!" Scorpia dashed downstairs. "Thanks for the company, Chief!"

Catra did not answer. Why should she grace with an answer a mere Force Captain?

She coiled around herself, looking up at the moon.

 _Next time_.

Who knew?

 

Adora was alone once more. Alone, but in the good company of four sandwiches Bow had insisted to gift her.

She did feel a little better. Her back hurt, but it would get better in time.

Hey, scars fade.

And if they do not fade, they make for a good tale.

Her gaze let go of the walls and was captured by one of the moon, shining silver and bright. Heh. That would just be the stupid idea that appealed to wide-eyed idealists like her, but who knows?

Catra always liked looking at the moon.

Maybe there was a chance?

Who knew?

Adora took a bite from a sandwich.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow.

But sooner or later, a chance.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew. So, I recently found out about the show, and what can I say? It has its flaws, and some of them are quite glaring, but I think we can all agree the relationship between Catra and Adora was the single greatest highlight of the story, and their developing/unraveling the highest drama of the entire season. I would be pleasantly surprised if they managed to top it in the future. For the time being, enjoy this little piece. Hope you have, and if you did please leave a comment to let me know!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
